A Fool's Hope
by SilverOwlMalfoy
Summary: First collection of a series of 100 stories for the "If You Dare" challenge. Lily Evans/Mary MacDonald, unrequited love. Reviews super appreciated!
1. A Fool's Hope

_(A/N: The first of 100 stories from the "If You Dare" challenge. This is Lily Evans/Mary MacDonald, prompt was A fool's hope")_

A Fool's Hope

"I've always loved that hat on you."

She smiled and adjusted the brim of her cap, shading the bright sunshine from her tanned face.

"Yeah, only because you bought it for me." I laughed and laid back on the quilted blanket set out for our picnic, gazing up at her. It was a Christmas gift from the year they met in their fourth year, a black ball cap with a white "L" on it, for her name, something small that wouldn't require knowing anything about her other than her name. At the time, it was a simple gesture of appreciation of friendship. Now, the edges of the brim were worn and faded and the top half of the "L" had had to be sewn back on a few times (by me, Lily didn't yet know how to sew).

"Perhaps; or possibly because you look so dazzling in it."

"Oh, you live to boost my ego."

"It needs boosting. You're more amazing than you think." I beamed up at her. She gave hint to an expression of thanks but covered it with a bite of the sandwich she had packed.

"What?" I frowned and sat up to meet her gaze. "Your mood changed". Lily scoffed and shook her head slightly, wiping her hands on her jeans.

"Mary." I rolled my eyes. She said my name as if I was supposed to read her mind, and she wouldn't have to say another word.

"What? You totally switched up when I said that. You have to know I'm going to say stuff like that sometimes."

"But just not like, all the time, okay?" she grumbled lowly, swallowing down any regret that passed her mind about staying friends with me. "It's not just a compliment anymore. You mean more."

"What am I supposed to say? That's just how I feel. Would you rather me be all cynical about it? Oh, nice hat, you look enchanting, too bad you only see me as a friend, gee whiz, what a bummer." Lily jerked to her feet and shoved the rest of the snacks she brought into her bag.

"See, Mary, this is the shit I'm talking about. You always do this. The every time, you say you won't do it again and apologize and take me out to dinner and you have this weird hope in your head that we're going to be together but it's just not going to happen!"

"Come on Lily, I'm sorry. I didn—"

"No, Mary. I don't know how much longer I can deal with all of this! Everything was fine before you ran your mouth that night and now nothing is the same. I can't keep trying to be your friend if all you're going to do is try to be more. I made myself clear that night and you've chosen to ignore me all this time." I didn't have the desire to snap back. I just nodded and looked out over the water, accepting that this had to happen eventually.

"Alright. Okay. Just, tell James I said hello. And good luck on your transfiguration test tomorrow."

"Thank you." She hesitated a few moments. "I wish th—"

"You wish I never told you, so we could stay friends and I could keep pretending—"

"I wish things worked out better for both of us. I'm sure you'll find a lovely girl."

"I'll see you in class Lily." She walked away silently and I couldn't bear to watch. Of course, give it a week and we'll be right where we left off like usual, but this time Lily threw out everything on the table. Maybe next time will be different, I definitely have to be the one to change.


	2. Earthquake (prequel)

_(A/N: This is a prequel/backstory to "A Fool's Hope". 2/100 of the If You Dare challenge, prompt "earthquake")_

Earthquake

The bass from the speakers shook the room so hard, an earthquake could have hit and nobody would have noticed. Bodies were crammed together, doing the best dancing they could with such little personal space. My teeth were vibrating, my body so filled with liquor, laughing out loud at things only happening in my mind. I spotted Lily across the room, talking to James Or rather, I saw a bobbing orange blur in a tight green dress and assumed it was Lily, and my mind did the rest. I rolled my eyes and downed the rest of my drink. He didn't deserve her; he would leave her like the rest of them, stay for a night and move onto the next willing victim. Someone grabbed my shoulder and I whipped around, grabbing onto theirs for support.

"Ludo! Hey, man, whas'up?" I had to yell over the music and my head was spinning so much, I felt as if I was looking right past him.

"Mary, hey, how much have you had to drink?" I shrugged and laughed, my head falling back like a bowling ball attached with a string. He cupped the back of my head and laughed with me, pulling me upright. "Alright, do you wanna get some air? Lily told me to come check on you."

"Lily?" I mumbled something inaudible and grunted.

"I got a pack if you wanna smoke and sober up a bit." His words swam past me and I smiled, nodding, pulling him towards the crowd of dancers. He pulled me back towards him and shook his head.

"Hey, where are we going?" He didn't answer, but I didn't have the energy to resist him. I must have blacked out for a minute because the next time I opened my eyes, we were outside smoking, totally removed from the scene of the party. Silencing charms kept the noise inside, so the quiet chill of the outdoors felt so fake, like I had imagined one or the other the entire night.

"So what happened to your whole, 'I'm gonna stop drinking until after the school year' thing?" I leaned against the railing behind me, or a wall, or whatever it was, it was cold.

"I don't remember that. Haven't you been drinking too? I mean, it's a party. You gotta". He smiled and he was the Cheshire cat.

"Yeah, a little, but I can walk. You can't." He laughed as I stood up, proving his point. I walked to the edge of the patio and back, my newly sprouted wings guiding me around all of the cracks in the cement , making a detour to pick a flower in the dirt. He slow-clapped when I found the bench again, lighting another cigarette for me.

"So why did you scoff earlier when I mentioned Lily? You guys are best friends, don't tell me you're fighting." I switched my seat from the bench to the ground next to it.

"No man, you're my best friend. You…are my best buddy. Forever." I offered him my fist and he met it with his. "Lily is…man, she's different. I love her, ya know? She's beautiful. She's beautiful..." My voice faded and I leaned over to press the side of my face to the cold ground. Ludo stayed quiet until we went back inside. It seemed like hours but when he finally pulled me up off the ground he said it had only been minutes.

"Lily is with James, Mary." He looked uncomfortable, nervous. I knew this already, or at least I knew he wanted to be with her.

"Yeah, barely. It's stupid, it's whatever. I wanna go dance." Ludo took me inside and let me go, staying outside for a little longer. Before I had the chance to have any more fun, Lily grabbed me and pulled me aside.

"Do you still have that flask? All the kegs are empty." I shook my head. That flask had been empty for a long while, since I got to the party. "Alright. That's okay. I'll bring my own next time." She laughed as if the whole world wasn't spinning out of place, her innocent hand on my waist and her lips tickling my ear to keep from yelling.

"Can we talk? I gotta tell you something" I pulled back and did my best to look more sober than I was. She didn't give into my disguise but agreed to talk anyway. I pulled her to the outer parts of the party, still in the noise but less crowded. Easier to talk. I cupped her neck and raised my lips to her ear, she laughed.

"Mary, just tell me. Did you hook up with someone?" She kept laughing and laughing. I would miss this. "Was it Ludo? Oh, I knew it. I knew he had a thing for you!" She was shouting, putting together pieces of her own version of my puzzle that didn't fit right together. I felt sick.

"Lily." I rested my head on her shoulder and started again. "Lily, I'm so in love w'you. And I need you." I paused to catch my breath. "I want you." I pressed a light kiss to her neck and rested my head on her shoulder again. She said nothing for the rest of the song that was playing. I held onto her and she was lifeless, a doll that replaced my Lily. She was suddenly nowhere to be found. The room spun and the lights with the music mushed up my insides, turning and turning until my legs disappeared into the music and I was smiling up at my love. Everything looked bigger, looked slower from the place I had ended up.

"I found you, Lily. You're here." She frowned down at me and I fell asleep on the cold floor.


End file.
